"To Everything Under Heaven....."

For all the billions of viewers "out there" who are regulars to my blog...:>) you've noticed that my best friend was called home this past Saturday and I've been attempting to "memorialize" him with my posts as of late. It's only been four days and the barometer I've used to sequence the anguish I'm feeling is how often I have to clean my eyeglasses or take my contacts out because of the excess tear goop that adheres to them. There are times I must admit that I feel nothing. I experience such a feeling of ennui that I'm wondering if there's something wrong-emotionally. But, as I begin to do that mental rummaging I'm snapped back to reality and realize I'm in the present and the future has come and gone. The present is no longer, and as Einstein says, "the future will come soon enough". I find myself still in this archaic pine of loss for him. I have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning and as I get in the car to go to school and walk to the classroom, I'm in a fragile state of mind. I'm transfixed to another dimension and that longing wish for time to have stood still escapes me. I'm transported back to here and remembrance of four days ago and the agony sets in. It DID happen and HE IS GONE. I think of going to watch a sunset for that was one of our favorite things to do. I got to take pictures of a majestic wonder of God's creation; that indomitable beauty of not being able to tell where the earth stopped and heaven began, and Piper, Remy, and Dancer would sit patiently with me. But alas, the thought scurries from me and reality sets in for it will only be two that go with me and the sadness overcomes me. Until I can drum up the strength to do so, this one's for you, my friend.