While I understand that to indulge myself in grief for too long of a period will only jeopardize my spirit, I fully realize that the grieving process does not have a time frame to it. To grieve and at whose pace depends on that person. There isn't a manual or code of reference that outlines this.
I received a very much cherished note from a long time love this evening that pointed out this very fact to me. And while I continue on this path of sadness, she pointed out that this process is in a very unique way of honoring his life. To "rush" this process would only lay groundwork for despair at some future juncture. So, I try to use this time and use a portion of my energy to continue to hold him close to my heart and repair those broken feelings by creating and showing very sweet and dear tokens of what a great and constant companion he was.
Christmas is and always will be my most favorite time of the year. Here is a short video of Christmas 2009; a Christmas I most surely believed I would not have seen with him.
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