Been Awhile

As I look back on my last post (July 13, 2010, egads-five months!) I wonder if I had been in some kind of time warp having been redirected by some alien force. My looks haven't changed,(a little more gray hair) I'm not able to read anyone's mind, I don't possess some cosmic power that entitles me to know the winning lottery numbers (darn-not that I'd know what to do with all that money anyway but to give it away),but it's been more of a just being lazy-fashioning my gluteus maximus to the Frasier Chair. It's not a matter of being preoccupied with some other edifying editorial espionage that has garnered my time. The few events that have been most distracting to me as of late are still that way. My best friend is still with me and we have each others back. I've had many thoughts along the way in these last 5 months, but just didn't have the where for all to go upstairs and sit down in front of this screen and put them down on paper...er' LED readout.

It's now several days away from the most important holiday of the year-Christmas, my most favorite time of the year. And it also creates a strange paradox for me as while it is the happiest of times for me, it certainly evokes the saddest time of the year as well. Maybe I should refer to it as bittersweet instead. It's an oscillating breath of emotion that occurs. Happiest in that there is such a bevy of joy, sharing, and good deeds being done, and it is also one of sadness in that the most significant people in my life aren't here with me; at least in the physical sense-Mom and Dad. I think of the poignant words of Kathy Mattea's haunting song, "Who's Gonna Know But Me", "cause who's gonna know but me to help me recall those old memories,when I'm all that's left of this family of three". And now that's left is but the 3 of us...my beautiful sisters. "If I were a video I could rewind, I go back and slow down each moment in time, and I'd disconnect the fast forward button, so I'd forever to tell them I love them".
Merry Christmas Mom and Dad...but then again you knew this.