"FOR IT IS MARY"

"For it is Mary, Mary
Plain as any name can be
But with propriety, society will say Marie
But is was Mary, Mary
Long before the fashions
came
And there is something there that sounds so
square
It's a grand old name"

And with those inimitable words, George M. Cohan described her to a T. For she was a woman without reproach, with an unflailing manner to her life. And yet she came from somewhat aristocratic beginnings. The daughter of a Hispanic draftsman she lived with her mother and father and four brothers and sisters in a stately hacienda with servants and the "good life"in the little town of Arichega, Mexico. Only to be uprooted at an early age and brought to St. Louis with them and eventually abandoned by her father, life was not easy for them. She never finished high school and worked menial jobs as they struggled for their existence. She would eventually marry, have a daughter and then divorce until she met the love of her life for 45 years. And even then, that did not bring her to the Promised Land as she struggled with not only her husband's alcoholism but hers as well. And she would endure the gut wrenching pain of having her daughter emotionally and physically stripped from her by her sister. And she had to bear the most "via dolorosa" of her life and watch that very daughter to die before her. But she persevered as only a mother can do. She and her husband eventually reached sobriety. She became the "breadwinner" in the family and with "her" money they would travel and see the "Promised Land". She became an avid Bingo player and to see her come out of a bingo hall smiling like a Cheshire Cat because she had won $499 jackpot for the night was worth its' weight in gold. With her two daughters and one son she buried her beloved Paul. She would follow him 7 years later. It was an indelicate and inauspicious death for with the tracheotomy that had to be performed her sweet, delicate voice was silenced. It was a resounding silence that left all numb. You may be be wondering who and why I speak of such a rather diffident and quite unassuming woman named Mary. And let's face it, "Mary" is a common name but it does have one universal and global appeal, for Mary was the mother of Jesus. To me she was just "Mom" and today would have been her 99th birthday. Happy Birthday Mom, I love you.

In an earlier post I spoke of the two questions that were asked of the ancient Egyptians before they could enter heaven, "did I find joy in my life?" and "has my life brought joy to others?" I can only hope that the latter question is answered by that my life brought joy to Mary and Paul. For me, it will all have been worth it knowing that.

We all have been faced with that unparalleled question of "what if" as we walk out the door leaving our loved one and never seeing them again. If only I had told them I loved them, or if I could take that back and try again. I dedicate this short video to Mom (and Dad)....."one more day" is all I would ask.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UWx-shGM0g