"Awakenings"

I've sort of gotten away recently from my blog as I look at the date of my last post.  And yet the date isn't of consequence as my last couple of weeks I've been emotionally processing an "awakening" of sorts that is, or has lead me on a journey away from my grief.  Grief and sorrow, allowed to fester and seed itself can have devastating consequences.  It can also be a mental crutch that permeates oneself and almost provides a distorted sense of comfort.  It applies a veneer to the true self and mask itself in a facade of contentment.  Neither the veneer or the contentment are real and eventually must be stripped away.  Through this awakening or manifestation that I have been experiencing are doing just that for me-stripping away the veneer and false contentment that I have allowed to plant inside of me.  I'm hesitant to openly reveal this awakening at this juncture and while I disdain when others put forth veiled statements, I'm still "processing" it.  At some time in the not to distant future, I'll openly reveal the circumstances.  For now though, it has been a relief to experience a change of heart, a new found comfort and a satisfaction that everything and everyone is alright.  It's these sorts of times that I must step outside of familiar "bookmarked" modus operandi and almost throw caution to the wind and give rise to the fact that another has an ability to answer questions for me and interrupt that veneer that I had learned to feel comfort in.  But even in looking outward at this contentious experience, the walls of doubt can be erected.  It is with a certain degree of hope (and I've always contended I have plenty of this) that has little by little disassembled that wall.  It's sort of a gamble to entrust that hope in something speculative, but in the long run, worth the risk.