96

96….where did the time go and soon to be 25.  Time is pervasive, extensive, and it never stops.  In the moment, we often wonder, “gosh, I wish time would hurry up”, or “won’t this day ever end”?  And yet, now as the golden years seem to rise faster than the morning sun, time becomes inescapable.  Several months ago, I wrote of wishing time would stop…..now….not move on so that death would not overtake him.  I thought this also 25 yrs. ago as he lay in his bed, overcome by a hideous and unavoidable outcome.  But, as my own humanity was severely tested, then and a few months ago, I realize how truly transient I am.  We’re like the proverbial incandescent light bulb.  When we’re born, it may say on the crib-1200hrs.  Whether we “last” those 1200 hrs. is anyone’s guess.  Certainly when he was born, his package read: “621,960 hrs.”, or 71 yrs.  Not an extended lifeline for him.  I would have wished he would have purchased the extended warranty.  But as he abused his body, the extended warranty probably would have been a futile and wasteful investment.  But that’s neither here nor there and as much as I miss him, I know he’s with me each day.  We had a “communique” of sorts several weeks ago with the help of another.  I often believed he was listening to me and looking out for me.  I had asked him last year at this time to look after my boy and to use whatever influence he had to give him more time.  I’m not sure exactly how that played out, but as he told me, he’s taking care of the entire brood now and that for me is golden.  His message to me is a symphony of thoughts.  I think we communicate more now than we did when he was alive.  And as his messages come through mentally, I miss the sound of his voice.  I miss him telling me he loves me and as his son, how proud he is of me.  Here me tonight, Paul, I’m proud you’re my Dad.  Happy Birthday and for old times sake will you sing it for me one more time?