8 Is Not Enough

Well, I have been negligent in making this post about my "little boy". I didn't miss his special day for he and I (as is the custom for each of my "kids")on their birthdays to go with "dad" to Petsmart and pick out their presents. But, I have been lazy about posting for his special day-April 10. Where do 8 years go?? In a heart beat, it seems like yesterday that I traveled to Iowa, under the guise of "rescuing" mistreated Border Collies, all the while telling my sisters that I was going there to find homes for Border Collies. It wasn't too far from the truth as I was "finding" a home, or actually giving a home to this little guy. It was actually my aunt that sort of blew the whistle on me (and I only say that jokingly) as I had told her of my plan to bring "Remy" home. Unbeknownst to me, did I realize that she would speak to my sisters and ask..."did your brother get his puppy yet"? Only then did I realize that my "cover" was blown and the true story of why I went to Iowa came forth.
And life for this little guy (and me) wasn't without cause or incident for at 10 mos. did I fathom the trauma that we would endure together. For he developed a necrotic hip and after several hip surgeries and countless hrs of physical therapy did I understand the what it meant to be "joined at the hip". For, Remy became my "compadre", my "shadow", my "kemo sabe", my "amigo", and he became for me, my muse. For, I looked differently at him as I surely do now for what he had to endure for those seven months or so of surgery and rehabilitation. Sure, his dog sport career was cut short, but it gave me another perspective on the true meaning of what a dog does for me. He is here to give me unconditional love and my job is to be worthy of it...something I try to do each and every day of his life. I only hope that I have achieved a goal....that I have become as wonderful as Remy thinks I am.
I leave this quote for all to think about..."He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his leader. He will be yours faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion". Remy, I hope I have lived up to that for you.
Dad

Thoughts for today

"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."


Today's quote or muse comes from the noted Greek Philosopher-Epictetus. I look at this particular quote as penetrating into our own psyche of materialism. How often in our adolescence into our adulthood did we identify our value as what we owned or coveted? We so infrequently relied on not having them and thus creating our own happiness from that. For it is with the lack of great possessions that hopefully we can draw our fulfillment.

ABIDING BY THE LIGHT

Remember always that you are just a visitor here, a traveler passing through. Your stay is but short and the moment of your departure unknown. None can live without toil and a craft that provides your needs is a blessing indeed. But if you toil without rest, fatigue and weariness will overtake you and you will be denied the joy that comes from labour´s end. Speak quietly and kindly and be nor forward with either opinions or advice If you talk much this will make you deaf to what others say and you should know that there are few so wise that they can not learn from others Be near when help is needed but far when praise and thanks are being offered. Take small account of might , wealth and fame, for they soon pass and are forgotten. Instead nurture love within you and strive to be a friend to all. Truly compassion is a balm for many wounds. Treasure silence when you find it and while being mindful of your duties set time aside to be alone with yourself. Cast off pretence and self-deception and see yourself as you really are. Despite all appearance no one is really evil. They are led astray by ignorance. If you ponder this truth always you will offer more light rather than blame and condemnation. You, no less than all beings, have Buddha Nature within. your essential mind is pure. Therefore when defilement causes you to stumble and fall, let not remorse nor dark fore-Bonding cast you down. Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on. Faith is like a lamp and wisdom it is that makes the flame burn bright. Carry this lamp always and in good time the darkness will yield and you will abide in light.

Dhammavadaka

"NO BOGIE HERE"

IT’S BEEN SEVERAL DAYS SINCE MY LAST POST ABOUT THIS MAN WHO WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE CHALLENGE OF HIS LIFE. HE HAD ARRIVED AT A CROSSROAD THAT UNBEKNOWNST TO HIM WAS GOING TO EXPOSE A TAPESTRY OF HIS LIFE. THOSE CLOSEST TO HIM BEGAN A PROCESS OF EXAMINATION AND INTROSPECTION OF THAT TAPESTRY REFLECTING ON THOSE 84 YEARS, CONSIDERING WHAT WOULD LIFE AND CERTAINLY THEIR LIVES LOOK LIKE WITHOUT HIM IN IT. OPEN HEART SURGERY IS NOT WITHOUT SIGNIFICANT ELEMENTS OF RISK. ANYTIME A SURGEON CRACKS THE RIB CAGE, TAKES AN ARTERY FROM ANOTHER PART OF THE BODY, STOPS THE FLOW OF BLOOD SO THAT LIFE LINES WILL CONTINUE; ONE MUST BE CONCERNED. AND DURING THAT TIME WE RELIED ON THE WONDERS OF MODERN MEDICINE AS ANOTHER MACHINE PINCH HIT FOR HIM. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT HE EVER NEEDED A “PINCH HITTER”. THE SKILL OF THE SURGEON JUMP STARTED HIS LIFE. IT WASN’T THAT BLOOD WAS RESTORED TO FLOW IN THIS MAN’S VEINS, BECAUSE IT’S NOT BLOOD THAT FLOWS IN GUYS LIKE HIM, IT’S THE LOVE OF HIS FAMILY, HIS CHILDREN, GRAND CHILDREN, GREAT GRAND CHILDREN AND MOSTLY HIS COMPADRE’, HIS PASSION, HIS BRIDE, HIS DELORES. IF ONE ADHERES TO THE TEACHINGS OF PLATO, A “SOUL MATE” IS TWO HALVES OF A WHOLE PERSON-EACH HALF NEEDING TO FIND THE OTHER TO BE WHOLE OR COMPLETE, THEN THEY HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER.

THIS WEEKEND IS THE ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE. IT WON’T BE COMPLETE AND COULDN’T BE A SUCCESS WITHOUT HIS PRESENCE IN HIS “EMMETT KELLY’ CLOWN PERSONA. TIME WILL PASS, HIS REHAB CONTINUES UNTIL THE DAFFODILS HAVE BLOOMED, THE FORSYTHIAS BUDDED OUT, AND THE LAST VESTIGE OF WINTER HAS FADED. SPRING WILL HAVE ARRIVED AND ALL THE FAMILIAR SOUNDS THAT COME WITH IT WILL COMMENCE. THE FAMILIAR PARRYING OF THE MEADOWLARK, THE REPETITIVE CHIRP OF THE CARDINAL, AND THE UNNERVING WAIL OF RICH ON THE 14TH…….....”FORE”. IT’S TIME TO TEE UP!!!

"You Gotta Have Heart"

As his strength is stretched for the most significant test of his life and the demands that have challenged him, I think of the words to this song….”you gotta have heart, all you really need is heart”. Or maybe I should be saying, “you gotta have Rich”. For without that effervescent smile-you know the one that lights up a room that is predictable as a 5 yr. old on Christmas Day, we’d all have a lot less delight in our lives. We’d struggle with mediocrity and the undeniable fact that his life has brought a sense of fulfillment to those that know him. He’s led by his example of unequivocal love and devotion to his one true love and not just his children, but grand children, and now great grand children. There’s a manifestation about his life that one could look at as patently bland. But I’m not using bland in a monotonous, or uninspiring trait, but actually one of simplification and strength. He is not one of fanfare or tooting his own horn, unless of course he’s birdied the 15th, or sunk that 18 footer. He adores his life, his family and his God. And with that creed, all good things have come to him. You couldn’t write it much simpler than that.

I think of the words to another song that inspires me about this man;
“turn on your heartlight, let it shine wherever you go, let it make a happy glow, For all the world to see”.
And as he wheeled into the operating room tomorrow morning, I’ll not be saying just a prayer for him, but I’ll also be saying a prayer for the surgeon, that he knows what a gift he has been given today to bring not just blood flowing through this man's veins, but life as well and that God guides his hands into the very soul of this man and “turns on his heartlight, so that it will continue to shine for all the world to see”. For you see... “You Gotta Have Rich”.

The Clown

He’s a clown and if you never saw him embellish himself as Emmett Kelly and witness his bantering about on a St. Patty’s Day Parade or take an impish delight in the ease of his devilish playfulness with his grandkids you’re missing pure joy!

You wonder how he’s lived so long with a heart as big as his, because you know he’s surely made it exert double duty for all these years. But God must have given him a heart way beyond its normal capacity. And yet, now it is this very heart that struggles, it labors under the weight of his generosity. The very notion of what Rich’ heart was meant to do, confronts the infection that impales him.

To see him lying in his hospital bed is such a disparate sight; wired like the inside of a computer. Tubes flowing here, monitor lines running like rush hour on 64, more CRT’s than on the show room floor at Best Buy. This is not how Rich should be seen. He should be sitting in his barcalounger with little CeCe and Kuper on his lap with his ever faithful “King” at his side, bantering with his bride Delores. Surely he’d rather be navigating a cross cut at Steinberg gliding through the defenders eyeing the goalie or, deciding which club to use on the 12th at Tee-Up, or encouraging one of his many grand kids to slide as they turn the corner heading towards home plate,

Guys like him are icons.. They don’t make them like him anymore. And being an icon, like all God’s creatures, he’s here on loan from God; to bless us with his presence for whatever time God will give us. God has loaned him 84 years, 62 of them with his love, his passion, his bride. We should all be given a blessing like that.
So, as I look to the heavens, I say these words with respect, with devotion, as prayer, “Let him live”.

"For All That's Been Said and Done"

I've been meaning to put this little video together for Mary and Paul for sometime. I've been remiss lately as another "family" course of action has remanded me. If you've read any of my posts over the last several months, you'll understand. I had intended to use another song (and I still most probably will) but for the time being, this one has certainly touched my heart.

I am the "kid" of Mary and Paul and in several of my posts about them and their human frailties, I have readily admitted to their shortcomings and in a typical muse about dysfunctional families, it has been all to simple to oblige their failings as my parents who only went to war with each other and took myself and my sisters as prisoners. And yet, I don't blame them for they only had so many parenting skills to pass onto me. And what strengths they did have as parents, they gave to me. Kids don't come out with a manual and even if we did, we"re way to young to read it to new moms and dads. I could have acquiesced to their disturbed emotional duress and used them as an excuse. But parents can only be responsible for so long for their kids. The rest is really up to us. Looking back. I would be negligent and there would be a sufficient degree of remorse on my part to think I had lousy parents. There had to come a time in my life to accept my entrance into adulthood, establish the boundary that parents must develop from their children, and learn that I may have been "robbed" of a childhood because mom and dad may have missed an opportunity with me. But to hold that against them and take it into my adulthood will only deprive me of my own happiness. The only person who got "robbed" here is me and it was my own doing.
To this day, I continue to look to Mary and Paul.

Thoughts for today

Well the pace of my blog has suffered in the last few weeks as I've tended to rest on my laurels so to speak. The recent activity has centered around my pup-Dancer and his struggle with cancer. And while I know the "bastard" can still win, I choose to relinquish my preoccupation and adhere to the more subtle delicacies of life-such as orchids. It's not that I don't fall back on his condition and my continued hope that the "bastard" won't win, I must distract myself. I'm giving up a quote from that famous poet-William Wadsworth Longfellow for some more fluid thoughts for today.

"Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart."

And while I humbly approach these words with trepidation...the shadowy future must not be laid with fear. I know it with His intervention that I will have a manly heart.

I shot the Orchid Show at the Botanical Gardens this weekend.

Here's one of the images I enjoyed.

CHASING LIFE

We've celebrated our most precious Christmas ever and were granted the best Christmas gift of all....my boy is here with me and the rest of our brood. In one way it seemed that we emigrated from a time dimension to another. The New Year ushered in with a cascade of joy and abound that I had never experienced before. I fully did not expect my big boy to be with me at this time. In fact, my entire preparation for this season was one of solace and heartache. I've always treasured the Christmas season, not just because of my faith, but because of a time of renewal and gratitude, and my undying belief in a Santa Claus mentality. I know he doesn't fly around from rooftop to rooftop (or does he?) clamoring at the top of his lungs..."now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, and Vixen,"....but isn't there that child in all of us that really wants to believe he truly exists??? Or is it that God comes to life in that sentiment of Santa Claus? Isn't it He that delivers our wants and propels our excitement in matters of what could be? For me, that "could be" was a manifestation of my "Dancer" and me chasing life, not running from death. I've quoted Andy Dufresne before on previous posts. One of his idioms bears repeating again...and again..."Get busy living, or get busy dying." We continue to get busy living...and for that we're blessed.

Could I have been more thankful?

There are some 86,400 seconds each day and I often wonder how many of them I give up as thanks. If you read this blog, you know how my life was literally turned upside down several months ago by what seemed as totally unnecessary and most assuredly as not fair. But as I’ve written in previous posts, life isn’t always that-fair, and it would have been projective to have blamed God for what happened. We often become critical of His involvement or seeming lack of it when bad things happen to good people. Do I consider myself a good person…most of the time. I try to lead my life by a straight and narrow moral compass. I fail miserably at times and yet, I know it is my faith that continues to return again and again to seek guidance and forgiveness and use some of those 86,000 seconds to return to grace. I give my thanks each day that “my boy” is here with me….not just him, but the others as well. For when you’re given a bleak outlook and the world turns inside out for you, one can’t help but realize that His involvement was always there. How much time will I be given….I am thankful for any.