I ask myself where did 18 yrs. go? What has transpired in that time. I could break it down into minutes which would be 9,460,800, or hrs. which would be 157,680, and days-6570. 18 years in itself sounds like an eternity and if we were to calculate our lives in compartments of hours, it would resonate with the veracity of an almost immortal perpetuation. I imagine if we were to sit in our BarcaLounger staring aimlessly at the Timex counting those 9 million minutes, one would either suffer an incurable sense of boredom or risk a delusional sense of immortality. But, we neither have the inclination to subject ourselves to such boredom nor would we entertain the idea of delusion, albeit at some times during our lives, risking delusion over reality can be, how shall I put it, somewhat jocular. We could also debate the essence of psychological time vs. physical time and really get into something the philosophers referred to as phenomenological time. If I've lost you by now...sorry. You're probably wondering where in the hell is he going with this Aristotelian metaphysical discussion? And certainly what does it have to do with the title of this post-101? Quite simply today would have been her 101st. birthday. And it's been 18 yrs. since we last celebrated one. I didn't post anything on the 9th, several days ago as that was the day she died. And looking back at those 18 yrs., 6570 days, 157,680 hrs. and 9,460,800 minutes, I can honestly tell you I've missed her presence each one of those increments. So, withstanding all that philosophical jargon, and I think of what we would be doing with her today if she were still alive. Hopefully, she would be living with one of her children, but realistically taking care of a centenarian would have it's own set of trials. But humoring me for a moment, one of us would have taken her to lunch, and then to dinner at one of her established restaurants, and if she was up to it...a round of Bingo. As I was driving home this evening, I passed one of her Bingo Halls that she frequented. This being Wednesday, I know she would have wanted to go. And with any luck, she would have come out of the hall, smelling like a tobacco farm, but smiling like a Cheshire cat as she had won the grand prize-$400.
There's so much I want to tell her and let her know what a wonderful mom she was. I want her to know what I've been doing in those 18 years. I want to take her to Bingo one more time. I want her to hear her voice just one more time and feel my arms around her. But, somehow, I know she's been watching and listening the entire 18 years, 6570 days, 157,680 hrs. and 9, 460, 800 minutes.
Happy 101st Birthday Mom,
